Don't Be THAT Runner

With the Broad Street Run fast approaching (Did ya sign up??) it's time to consider who you might be up against. This is your competition.  And list of people to avoid.  (Thanks to for the inspiration) Run the Course Again Guy – There’s no one I’ve ever wanted to punch more than the guy who has finished the race and decides to casually jog back to the starting line, race bag in tow and yelling “you can do it!” to all of us amateurs.

The Near-Nudes – If your running shorts would disappear underneath a pair of briefs, please don’t wear them on race day. And ladies, sometimes the decision to go sports-bra-only is a decision that might need to be revisited.

Wears the Race Shirt to the Race Guy – A lot of races give out the race shirts beforehand. You’re going to be tempted to wear it on race day, but I beg you – please don’t. It’s the same thing as wearing a band’s shirt to their concert.

Heel Crushing Vibram Guy – That's awesome that you've decided to embrace the minimalist lifestyle. But, um, doesn't it HURT to land heel first in those things??

The Camelbacker – Is the every-mile water station not enough for you? Must you have a continual stream of water flowing down your esophagus in order to put one foot in front of the other? I don’t get you.

Ironic Costume Guy – This guy is waaay more excited about his costume than anyone else. I guarantee he’ll be feeling a lot less pumped about this idea at mile 5 than he was at the start of the race (am I right, guy I saw dressed as Uncle Sam and dribbling a basketball the entire 10k last July 4?).

Incredibly Fast 8 year old – Look, I know I’m slow and out of shape, so I don’t need to be reminded of that by someone who is younger than twitter.

Stroller Guy – Crap. You're doing the work for two and yet I find you ahead of me!

Double Stroller Guy – You’ve effectively turned running into a resistance sport.

Triple Stroller Guy – Get some turn signals, man. And please pass me on the left.

Guy Who is Clearly Looking For a Date – you are in a event that is timed – but this is not to be confused with your weekly speed dating meet up. We see you run up to women with your horrible first line of “is this your first race?” Stop. You are embarrassing all guys.


Have I left any off the list??